Most Useless Companions In Video Games Of All Time


As you enter the battlefield, you might have breathed a sigh of relief to know you have a companion alongside. Someone to give you hope when all else seems lost, someone to guide you when all seems dark, someone to shoot whatever’s sneaking up behind you while you’re busy pummelling a wave of demons.

Sticky – Fallout 3

Despite the excellence of Fallout 3’s companion system and the great characters who could accompany you across the Wasteland, there was one character who made us want to gag them, shoot them, and bury them in the radioactive waste for the Deathclaws to find.

Little Lamplight is a refuge for children to live in until they reach 16. Sticky, who is in the process of being kicked out, requests to join the player’s character until they reach Big Town.

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Initially we think Sticky is being kicked out because he’s too old, claiming to be 18. In fact, on accepting the request, we quickly realise it’s because he is the most annoying person in the entire apocalypse!

Constantly asking “Are we there yet?” and repeating the same mundane stories again and again, Sticky makes you wonder why you’re even bothering to stay alive in this eternal waste. He won’t leave your side either until you deliver him to Big Town as promised, so, if you for some reason decide to saddle yourself with him, stick the TV on mute and run to Big Town as fast as you can before insanity grips you.

Natalya – GoldenEye 64

Natalya Simonova – played by Izabella Scorupco in the 007 movie “GoldenEye” – must win the award for quickest transition from heartthrob to public enemy number 1. For teenage boys growing up in the 90s, her on screen sexy look and even sexier accent was a sexual awakening for many.

The release of GoldenEye on N64 revolutionised how we play multiplayer FPS games today, and we couldn’t wait to don Pierce Brosnan’s suit and bow tie and save our beloved Natalya from the traitor Trevelyan.

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Then she started running in front of our bullets.

All the damned time.

It didn’t matter what you did. You could run away from her to create space between her and the pursuing guards, allowing you time to pick them off. She’d run in at the most inopportune moment and gladly take a bullet to the brain. You could keep her behind you, sacrificing your health for her survival – until she decides it’s lonely back there and she wants to stand beside your smoking gun barrel.

Not shooting Natalya accidentally was difficult. Not shooting her deliberately quickly became impossible.

Dominic Santiago – Gears Of War

Dom was one of the original Gears and close friend to main series protagonist, Marcus. He fights alongside you against the Locust swarm through thick and thin, searching for his lost wife, and even saves you from execution.

Like any Gear, he’s brave, tough as nails, and not afraid of facing death – sacrificing himself so that his comrades can escape.

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Unfortunately, Dom isn’t exactly what I’d call, ‘a tactician’.

In the original Gears, when faced with insurmountable odds, Dom would often choose the ‘direct is best’ approach and charge head-on at swarms of incoming Locusts.

Of course, he would inevitably fall the floor, bleed out and calling for help. The player, as Marcus, is now left with the irritating decision of facing the incoming swarm alone, or trying to rush in and save his buddy, most likely meeting the same fate. On the off chance you could revive headstrong Dom, guess what the first thing was he’d do once he was back on his feet?

Source – Gaming Whatculture

#Most Useless Companions In Video Games Of All Time

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